Why loss of sexual desire isn’t all in your head
Fluctuations in libido are normal for everybody, but if yours is uncharacteristically absent, it could be a symptom of a hormonal imbalance, a medical condition, or unfavorable lifestyle factors.
Before we get started: we recognize that gender and “biological sex” are complex and multifaceted. For the purpose of this article when we use gendered language we’re referring to someone’s physiological gender assigned at birth, not their pronouns or gender identity.
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Is it normal to lose interest in sex?
The answer to this question isn’t exactly straightforward, but here’s the short version: if you’ve completely lost interest in sex, there can be a medical cause.
Whether you have a penis or a vagina, it’s typical for your libido to experience natural fluctuations; this might include periods in which your libido is very low. What isn’t typical, however, is for your sex drive to completely bottom out and refuse to come back. There are quite a few things that could cause your libido to disappear, such as stress, sickness, depression, or hormonal imbalances.
Keep in mind that even if your sex drive has temporarily dropped (we repeat: totally normal!), you haven’t necessarily “lost” your libido; what we’re talking about here is having pretty much zero interest in sex for a long period of time.
While it’s more common for people to experience sexual dysfunction (including a low libido) as they grow older, it might surprise you to learn that in women it tends to start as early as their late 20’s or early 30’s.
Hormonal imbalances that can cause lower interest in sex
First, let’s explore the role of sex hormones --- namely estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. Women typically have higher amounts of estrogen and progesterone, while men usually have higher levels of testosterone (everybody has some of all three sex hormones). When any of them drop below the normal level, that can result in a loss of sexual interest.
But it isn’t just sex hormones that could be messing with your libido. Stress hormones also may play a role. Cortisol and adrenaline can be damaging to the libido when they’re chronically high. Cortisol’s main purpose is to control your daily sleep/wake cycle, and adrenaline gives you an extra boost of energy when your brain perceives a threat, whether that’s the thought of being late for work, or narrowly avoiding a car crash. Elevated stress hormones can actually disrupt the production of sex hormones, meaning your body is making less of the hormones it needs to maintain a healthy libido. In fact, one (small) study actually showed a connection between increased cortisol and decreased ability for sexual arousal in women.
Last but not least, thyroid hormones T3 and T4 are also on the list of possible culprits. They control all kinds of things, from metabolism to heart rate, to body temperature --- and more. Even if you haven’t heard of these hormones specifically, you’ve probably heard of hypothyroidism (a condition caused by low thyroid hormone production), and hyperthyroidism (caused by high thyroid hormone production).
What’s the connection to sexual desire, though? Well, several studies have shown a link between thyroid disease and decreased sexual function (including decreased libido). In the case of hypothyroidism, low levels of thyroid hormones lead to a slowed metabolism, which may slow the production of sex hormones; if they get too low, your sex drive might start suffering. Hyperthyroidism’s effect on the libido isn’t as clear, however, especially since some people with this condition actually have a higher sex drive. Confusing, right? While the mechanism isn’t fully understood at this point, the connection has been demonstrated in multiple studies - imbalanced thyroid hormones are usually bad news for your libido.
Physical causes of loss of libido
A lack of sex drive is often thought of as a strictly hormonal problem, but that isn’t always true. Some people end up losing their libido as a result of chronic illnesses, heavy alcohol consumption, or antidepressants. You might even take a look at your lifestyle and realize that several different factors may be contributing to the problem. Here are some of the lifestyle factors that can disrupt sex drive.
- Lack of sleep - this is especially true for men since sleep is a crucial time for testosterone production. It affects women too, but not always as severely; it’s mainly because a constantly tired body sometimes can’t keep up with tasks like sex hormone production. (A Base Complete test will help you find out if testerone levels are off.)
- Alcohol - a few drinks will supposedly put you in the mood, but they’ll also depress your central nervous system and decrease blood flow to the genitals. That’s what alcohol does in the moment; if you’re looking at the long-term effects, heavy drinking is linked to lowered testosterone production in men. More research is needed for the effects of drinking on women’s sex hormones.
- Prescription medications - all kinds of medications can have adverse effects on your sex drive, mainly by reducing testosterone. SSRIs (a type of antidepressant), opioids, statins, and even treatments for fungal infections may lower your sexual interest.
- Sexual dysfunction - Whether it’s pain during intercourse or erectile dysfunction, it’s normal for issues like these to leadto a loss of sexual desire.
- Menopause - when a woman enters menopause her sex hormones drop sharply, often leading to a lowered libido.
Psychological causes and relationship issues that can lead to lower sex drive
Both male and female libidos depend on a lot more than just clean living and balanced hormones. In some cases, it’s possible for someone to lose their sexual desire for reasons that are more psychological than physical. After all, your brain can have a powerful effect on the rest of your body.
- Low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety - these are three different things, but they tend to feed into each other, especially where sexual desire is concerned. Low self-esteem is often a factor in developing depression, for instance, and both of them may end up causing performance anxiety regarding sex. Men may actually experience decreased sexual desire or even sexual dysfunction when depressed. It may not affect women in exactly the same way, but given that female libidos often depend on multiple factors (such as a positive mood, self-confidence, etc.), their levels of sexual interest are usually affected by low self-esteem or depression all the same.
- If your sexual partner doesn’t make you feel safe or wanted (especially if you’re a woman), this may diminish your desire for intimacy.
Tips for boosting your sex drive and rekindling sexual desire
A low sex drive is often caused by more than one factor, so the first step is to figure out what those factors could be. For instance, it won’t do much good to try to balance your hormones if you’re also taking a prescription that’s known to decrease the libido. How can you identify the problem, though?
A sensible starting point is to get some expert advice; since this isn’t something you can figure out from symptoms alone, it’s better if you have reliable data to work with. The default option would probably be to make a doctor’s appointment, but it often isn’t exactly a problem you can solve in a 30-minute visit. Your doctor could order lab testing if they thought there was an issue, but you could easily get tested at home too.
Using at-home lab tests from Base, you could get valuable insights on your sex hormones, stress hormones, thyroid hormones, and even hormone precursors that play important roles in your sexual health. Once you have some solid information to go on, it’ll be much easier to put together the other pieces of the puzzle.
Regaining lost sexual interest isn’t always an easy thing to do, but you don’t have to tackle it on your own! Not only are there plenty of resources online that’ll help you understand the issue, but there are also professionals who can help you navigate the journey back to the libido you want.
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